Jungle T-Shirts

'Bursitis.'

Rural electrification finally reaches Tarzan's neighborhood with unfortunate consequences.

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

'Holy S**t!'

"The hardest part is admitting you have a problem."

Jungle Games

'Please try to understand...I appreciate all that you have done for me and I love you both very much...But, I must try to find my biological parents.'

'It's a stainless-steel collar: A few lions have lost teeth trying to go for my jugular...'

"I know I should forget it, But I don't seem to be able to."

Wrinkly elephant ironing itself.

Jungle Olympics

Tarzan's mid-life crisis.

Tarzan swings on a vine but the vine is a snake.

'O King of the Jungle, you are magnificent!...'

'It's amazing how quiet the jungle has been since Tarzan lost his voice...'

'Your problem is that you don't see the big picture.'

'My name is Carla Conda, but for some strange reason everybody calls me Ana'

'We should probably think about baby proofing the place a bit.'

'No I do not give up!'

Penile Implants

'Wow! that's cool - go faster stripes.'

"...Pretty much the same story as you Tarzan. Lost as a baby, raised by wild animals as one of their own, except I was found by giraffes and not apes."

"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

"Tarzan no want computer."

"It's supposed to be some kind of aphrodisiac, but it hasn't done jack for me."

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"Hey, Tarzan – no need to yell."

"Now say Aaahh-eeh-ah-eeh-aaaaaah-eeeee-ah-eeh-aaaaah!"

The law of the jungle

"I brought you coffee. Sorry it’s cold."

Every Child Gets A Baboon!

'I'll remove the thorn as soon as you've signed the waiver form.'

'The great stampedes are over, son. All you can hope for today is an occasional goring.'

'That was really good son! This time try and get more follow through and really flick the poo hard.'

Bottom pit rather than bottomless pit.