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T-Rex of the Apes

'Tarzan, will you please tell that damn ape to get lost!'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

'I don't know about you. But I'm eating my fill before I drag this carcass to the 'king of the beasts'.'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

Ted often though back to those good old days when he was king of just the jungle.

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

Jungle Games

"I brought you coffee. Sorry it’s cold."

'Okay,stay close, and stay alert! Looks like we're heading into BIG CAT COUNTRY!'

"Really? Yes, you're a predator, but you're a tad too ambitious right now. Better start with hunting mice buddy!"

"Tarzan no want computer."

'Day 57. The tigers appear to be adjusting to my presence.'

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

Rudyard Kipling

"Son, 'Law of the Jungle' means that the tax authority guys are the predators and your dad is the prey."

Leopards do change their spots

'Boy, there are days I feel like doing even less than I usually do...'

Human meat.

Not fit for consumption

'Tarzan'

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

'He stubbed-my-toe yell sounds a lot like his chest-pounding victory yell.'

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

Doug finally got a chance to use his karate and he forgot to make the ceremonial bow.'

Woman taking keys of her husband who has been eaten by a snake.

'It's time you knew, Son -- you were abandoned here as a child by aliens.'

"It's supposed to be some kind of aphrodisiac, but it hasn't done jack for me."