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T-Rex of the Apes

'Tarzan, will you please tell that damn ape to get lost!'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

'I don't know about you. But I'm eating my fill before I drag this carcass to the 'king of the beasts'.'

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

Ted often though back to those good old days when he was king of just the jungle.

Jungle Games

'Okay,stay close, and stay alert! Looks like we're heading into BIG CAT COUNTRY!'

"I brought you coffee. Sorry it’s cold."

"Really? Yes, you're a predator, but you're a tad too ambitious right now. Better start with hunting mice buddy!"

"Tarzan no want computer."

'Day 57. The tigers appear to be adjusting to my presence.'

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

Rudyard Kipling

'Boy, there are days I feel like doing even less than I usually do...'

Monkey Business

"Son, 'Law of the Jungle' means that the tax authority guys are the predators and your dad is the prey."

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

Human meat.

Leopards do change their spots

'It's time you knew, Son -- you were abandoned here as a child by aliens.'

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

Woman taking keys of her husband who has been eaten by a snake.

Doug finally got a chance to use his karate and he forgot to make the ceremonial bow.'

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

Not fit for consumption

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'