Jungian Enthusiast Gifts

"Our collective unconscious is pretty vacant, too."

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Jungle Games

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

"Tarzan no want computer."

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

Leopards do change their spots

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

Advertising man saying to woman - 'Be careful. It's a real jingle out there.'

'I'd love to help you guys, but I've got it pretty good here. I protect them and they throw me their sick and occasionally the odd jerk they want rid of.'

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Sadly, Trevor T-rex could never see why he wasn't taken seriously.

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

Reality Bites

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

'Don't worry, it's safe to come between us: He's not my kid...'

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

'Offhand, I'd say your problem stems from a deep-seated edifice complex.'