Jungian Enthusiast Pillows

"Our collective unconscious is pretty vacant, too."

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

'Do we want to apply for a credit card that plays the song 'Money Makes The World Go Around' every time it is swiped?'

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

Jungle Games

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

"Tarzan no want computer."

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

Leopards do change their spots

"This house has been in my family for a considerable period of time."

Psychologist Birthdays

Advertising man saying to woman - 'Be careful. It's a real jingle out there.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

Sadly, Trevor T-rex could never see why he wasn't taken seriously.

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

Reality Bites

'I'd love to help you guys, but I've got it pretty good here. I protect them and they throw me their sick and occasionally the odd jerk they want rid of.'

'Don't worry, it's safe to come between us: He's not my kid...'