July 4th Gifts

"Have you decided what household object you're hiding under this July 4th?"

'You call that a firecracker?'

July 5...payback.

"Ha!...I'd like to see the Jones' trying to beat our display this year!"

Time to Thank Your Lucky Stars.

"You spoil that canary."

"Yessir warmer weather will be moving in any day now."

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

Clown on bike.

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Here and There Trays

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

Assault 'n' Vinegar

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

Fast food. Even faster food

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'Steak Ted?'

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

The best financial decision I ever made.

'What's wrong now?'

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'