4th Of July Gifts

"O.K., the third of July is out. How about the fourth?"

Fourth of July (View from the South border)

Fireworks Then/Fireworks Now

Safe Fireworks

4th of July Fireworks

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

Uncle Sam, Lady Liberty and Lady Justice walk into a bar that is advertising a "Pursuit of Happiness Hour" in its front window.

Spacious Skies - Amber Waves of Grain - Purple Mountains - Fruited Plain - Leo's Diner

"Pay attention, everyone! This is the illegal one!"

Crack in Liberty Bell held together by a plaster.

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

"What I don't like is, the 4th of July is a holiday, but we're already out of school!"

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

"Mom forbids me to have fireworks. She gave me this cereal instead!"

"I'm ready for the 4th of July. I have on red lipstick, a white gown and a blue hat."

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

"He burns the first one as a sacrifice to the barbecue gods."

'I would have to give this year's display a higher 'oohs! & aahs!' rating than last year's.'

"Firecrackers are too dangerous dear. We'll celebrate July 4th by making our own firecrackers. We'll put spicy jalapeno and cayenne pepper dip on whole wheat crackers."

'Where did you hear that it's a tradition to decorate a cherry tree on the 4th of July?'

Where the framers of the Constitution bought their frames.

'I was on my way to see why so many people were gathered in the park when the fireworks started...'

Drinking Driving: Fireworks about to happen.

'I should have told him those were spicy.'

"If the next one is any louder than that, I'm out of here."

Surviving July 4th: One Doll's Story.

Happy Independence Day!

''Consent of the governed'? -- that could be a deal-breaker.'

"It's you!"

"If I'd lived back then, I would have signed it, too."

Constitution of the United States (First Draft)

Bill for Stronger Fireworks.

Footing The Bill

"You like yours well done, right?"

"As soon as our state legalizes fireworks, gay marriage, and marijuana - I'm going to start throwing awesome parties you're not invited to."