Judicial Humor Seeker Gifts

"I've never seen anybody literally sue everybody in sight before."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

Arrogant junior barrister

"Impartiality becomes you."

Antonin Scalia

Justice

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

Judge

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

"We all make mistakes, as Your Honor knows, having been twice reprimanded by the New York State Commission on Juridical Conduct."

'The defendant and the witnesses were bad enough, but then the JURY got hostile.'

'We find the defendant guilty, the defense a showboater and the DA a legal mal-practitioner.'

Lawyers chasing a sacrificial lamb.

Computer questionning a witness.

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

'I'm sentencing you to 100 hours of community service. Be at Twin Lakes Country Club at 8am sharp. I need a caddy.'

'My name is Judge Clyde Sandorf; better known as 'ol' tough as nails'.'

'I'm sure the Senate will affirm my action.'

The Controversial Will

'Oh, boy!'

'I'm leaning towards not leaning towards anything.'

'Orders in the court'

A Good, But Not A Supreme Court

'...Plus thirty days for not turning off your damn cell phone!'

The US Supreme Court displays its rulings out front.

"I just love that new class action lawsuit smell."

'It's a thin line between love and contempt of court, your honor.'