Judicial Humor Seeker Gifts

"I've never seen anybody literally sue everybody in sight before."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

Arrogant junior barrister

Antonin Scalia

Justice

"Impartiality becomes you."

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

Judge

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

"We all make mistakes, as Your Honor knows, having been twice reprimanded by the New York State Commission on Juridical Conduct."

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

'We find the defendant guilty, the defense a showboater and the DA a legal mal-practitioner.'

Uh, your honor, I'd like this man declared an ostile-hay itness-way.

'The defendant and the witnesses were bad enough, but then the JURY got hostile.'

Lawyers chasing a sacrificial lamb.

Computer questionning a witness.

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

'My name is Judge Clyde Sandorf; better known as 'ol' tough as nails'.'

'I'm sentencing you to 100 hours of community service. Be at Twin Lakes Country Club at 8am sharp. I need a caddy.'

'I'm sure the Senate will affirm my action.'

The Controversial Will

'Oh, boy!'

'I'm leaning towards not leaning towards anything.'

'Orders in the court'

A Good, But Not A Supreme Court

'...Plus thirty days for not turning off your damn cell phone!'

The US Supreme Court displays its rulings out front.

"I just love that new class action lawsuit smell."