Jovial Shopper Pillows

"Wait a minute, that's my bar code" Product Identity Theft

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

Complaints Desk

Death Photobombs a Holiday

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

'Your smile came in a distant third.'

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

"What was Santa thinking calling me Dancer? I think I have two left feet..."

"No raise, but the boss did give me a 'God Boy' and a treat."

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

"It's important to learn numbers. Then you can have a pin number and get money from ATMs."

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

The Relentlessly Jovial & Obnoxious Sales-People.

"Oh my....Look how much you've grown."

"Watkins would like to know if he can leave a few minutes early...he claims he's dying."

'Every year was the same. There was always some clown or comedian in Brian's intake of pupils.'

'Apparently he does 20 yards to the pint.'

'In the event you suffer from Montezuma's Revenge, there's a TV in every bathroom.'

Ad agency

"I brake for milk & cookies"

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"

'Rudolf?'

Enthusiastic man