Jovial Job Seeker Pillows

'Your smile came in a distant third.'

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

"No raise, but the boss did give me a 'God Boy' and a treat."

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

"Wait a minute, that's my bar code" Product Identity Theft

Learn to Laugh at Yourself

"Watkins would like to know if he can leave a few minutes early...he claims he's dying."

'In the event you suffer from Montezuma's Revenge, there's a TV in every bathroom.'

Do you know what girls want?

Enthusiastic man

hoovering husband

Man with Balloon

"Doctor! This is not the time for the 'pull my finger' gag!"

'I'm very impressed with your new butler, Charles. He carries himself well.' (A butler carrying himself in the air).

"Some advice please... How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"If you're going to the bank, would you bring me something?"

Do you have anyone whose bark is worse than their bite?

"How do you pay for all your carry-ons?"

"Age, nothing - I'd be satisfied to play my weight"

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'