Jovial Germ-keeper Pillows

'You have a 24-hour virus? Sorry, sir -- we just work an 8-hour day here.'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"The trees are laughing at us."

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

Clown Wedding with Rake

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

'Rex here, is just like one of the family.'

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

Pie chart of pub conversations

'The chef wants to know if you mind having the dessert tomorrow...'

You know what I like about our meetings? There's always more finger pulling than pointing.

"And now for the 'piece de resistance!'"

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

'Stan, you can still pick up that food! Due to the economy, the five second rule had been modified to eight seconds.'

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

"My compliments to whoever opened the can."

"That's the secret to a happy marriage. We both love the same things."

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

Hole drilled in floor. 'That's fixed that.'

"Watkins would like to know if he can leave a few minutes early...he claims he's dying."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. III

"Oops, this meeting is for Data Cloud Services? I thought it was Dodo the Clown Services!"

hoovering husband

"Put 'er there!"

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"

'So you joined the car sharing scheme then?'

'Now, cut that out!'

Do you know what girls want?