Jovial Germ-keeper T-Shirts

'You have a 24-hour virus? Sorry, sir -- we just work an 8-hour day here.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"The trees are laughing at us."

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

Clown Wedding with Rake

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

'Rex here, is just like one of the family.'

Pie chart of pub conversations

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

You know what I like about our meetings? There's always more finger pulling than pointing.

'The chef wants to know if you mind having the dessert tomorrow...'

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

"And now for the 'piece de resistance!'"

'Pay bills, stick to a budget, plan ahead.'

'Stan, you can still pick up that food! Due to the economy, the five second rule had been modified to eight seconds.'

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

"My compliments to whoever opened the can."

"That's the secret to a happy marriage. We both love the same things."

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

Hole drilled in floor. 'That's fixed that.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. III

"Watkins would like to know if he can leave a few minutes early...he claims he's dying."

"I don't want to look ridiculous at the clown convention!"

"Oops, this meeting is for Data Cloud Services? I thought it was Dodo the Clown Services!"

hoovering husband

'Now, cut that out!'

Explorer's Club: 'Rule one - when you eat a hamburger, don't ask what's in it!'

Do you know what girls want?

'So you joined the car sharing scheme then?'