Jovial Early Risers Pillows

Bill's alarm clocks were going off early today.

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

French Early Bird

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Have you got your make up on yet?

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

Early Bird Gets the Worm/Night Owl Does the Worm

"Hold on... did you mean to hit Snooze or Jazz?"

1,572 Performances.

'You see, you don't really need a cigarette to wake up in the morning.'

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

"It's time to wake up!"

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

Sleepwalking to work.

Pie chart of pub conversations

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Rooster

Judges alarm clock: 'beep beep, all rise!'

Early Night Club

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

"Coffee?! After 20 minutes of waiting, I'm FULLY awake without one."

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"Hurry, I've been waiting for you."

'Your smile came in a distant third.'