Jovial Suit-wearer Pillows

Enthusiastic man

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

Complaints Desk

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

Pie chart of pub conversations

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

'Your smile came in a distant third.'

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"

'Going up?'

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

Leonard L. Lipchitz: Sending the Law since 1972

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

Off the wall legal advisor.

"Wait a minute, that's my bar code" Product Identity Theft

'Every year was the same. There was always some clown or comedian in Brian's intake of pupils.'

"Watkins would like to know if he can leave a few minutes early...he claims he's dying."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. III

"Oh my....Look how much you've grown."

'Apparently he does 20 yards to the pint.'

'In the event you suffer from Montezuma's Revenge, there's a TV in every bathroom.'

'Rudolf?'

'Wizzo Wotsits - how can I help you? Just putting you through to customer services. . .'

Ad agency

Do you know what girls want?

hoovering husband

"I brake for milk & cookies"