Jovial Gentleman Pillows

Do you know what girls want?

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Candid Camera store.

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

'The Saxon King' pub

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

Death Photobombs a Holiday

Complaints Desk

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'The chef wants to know if you mind having the dessert tomorrow...'

"Ladies! Ladies! Do you wanna roll my Mercedes..."

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

"My compliments to whoever opened the can."

'My opinion, right or wrong!'

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

'Listen, pal, Happy Hour was over ten minutes ago.'

The Relentlessly Jovial & Obnoxious Sales-People.

Going Shopping Together.

'Every year was the same. There was always some clown or comedian in Brian's intake of pupils.'

"Oh my....Look how much you've grown."

"At our age I figure we only have two taste buds left. One for vodka and one for wine."

"I don't care what they do, as long as they don't mess with the thirty-two-ounce martini."

'Apparently he does 20 yards to the pint.'

'Wizzo Wotsits - how can I help you? Just putting you through to customer services. . .'

'Rudolf?'

Ad agency

"I was very good...delicious in fact."