Jovial Genius Pillows

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Candid Camera store.

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Growth Charts

'Guy comes up with one interesting theory about special relativity, suddenly he thinks he's freakin' Einstein,'

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

'The Saxon King' pub

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

"I'm enhancing my appreciation for the knowledge gathered by humankind."

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

Poisson d'Avril!

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

"Now we know who'll be taking care of us in our old age."

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

"Summer's coming. How does pre-med camp sound."

'Wow...you must have had a really bad day, eh, mate?'

Hot Cross Bun

"Hey! He must be watering down the beer.This is our fifth pint and we're still not talking rubbish."

'I'll put one end of the hose in your pool...you take the other end outside...gravity will create a siphon and drain the water with no mess.'

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

Planting Bulbs.

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

"It's important to learn numbers. Then you can have a pin number and get money from ATMs."

"You got 136? It says here you're genius if you get a 132."