Jovial Geniuses Pillows

To an observer approaching the speed of light, Einstein and his surroundings appear to be tall and thin.

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

'Guy comes up with one interesting theory about special relativity, suddenly he thinks he's freakin' Einstein,'

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

Poisson d'Avril!

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"

Leonard L. Lipchitz: Sending the Law since 1972

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

"It's important to learn numbers. Then you can have a pin number and get money from ATMs."

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

Off the wall legal advisor.

Going Shopping Together.

"Each day, they come home from school, get their homework out and crack on with it. Apparently, it's the latest craze."

"At our age I figure we only have two taste buds left. One for vodka and one for wine."

Mooning Moon

"You know, honestly I see it as half full."

'Dear Customer - Due to economic cutbacks, this year we have produced a 'Round Robin' Christmas Card...'

'You called for tech support?'

'I tried letting it all hang out, and somebody stepped on it.'

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"

Do you know what girls want?

"I'm really glad that we're in this together."

Technically Speaking

"Look Fred, are you going to play, or are you just going to clown around?"

'Doreen's been all over me to paint the house and Phillip wouldn't stop bugging me for a new trampoline, so...'

Christmas Burnout.

'Good news. Even though you've been spending way beyond your means, the IMF is giving you a bailout. It seems you're too big to fail.'