Jovial Jet-setter Pillows

"How do you pay for all your carry-ons?"

"Would you like some wings?"

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

"The trees are laughing at us."

Clown Wedding with Rake

Complaints Desk

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

'Rex here, is just like one of the family.'

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, and this is your captain siiinnngiiinnng."

Pie chart of pub conversations

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

You know what I like about our meetings? There's always more finger pulling than pointing.

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

"And now for the 'piece de resistance!'"

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

Artist angry at jogger running through his painting.

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

"That's the secret to a happy marriage. We both love the same things."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

Hole drilled in floor. 'That's fixed that.'

"I don't want to look ridiculous at the clown convention!"

'Every year was the same. There was always some clown or comedian in Brian's intake of pupils.'

'And one more thing, while you're in Bangkok be careful of the ladies in Patpong district. They may not be all they appear to be.'