Jet-setting Junior Pillows

"Would you like some wings?"

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, and this is your captain siiinnngiiinnng."

"Have you decided where to travel?"

'Any bargains going South?' (Bird asks travel agent).

'The real fun comes when we go through airport security.'

'Due to company cutbacks, you won't be getting that raise. However, to earn extra money, I can hire you to wash my corporate jet.'

'You've got yourself a deal son. I'll read you 'Babar' and you'll help me with my computer.'

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

"Sometimes I think the captain doesn't appreciate the seriousness of military maneuvers."

Plane crash on football pitch.

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

'And one more thing, while you're in Bangkok be careful of the ladies in Patpong district. They may not be all they appear to be.'

Excess Baggage: Anyone who think business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

'RIGHT! That's IT young man! You're grounded!'

"Your pilot is still de-icing."

"Cynthia! Bridle your enthusiasm."

Fiscal Responsibility

"Back! Back! Rows twenty and higher only!"

Left Luggage/Right Luggage

Golfer going through customs

'Your luggage was accidentally sent to Singapore, sir, and you're being tried in absentia there for smuggling after-shave lotion.'

Travel 1st class and avoid meeting your creditors.

Pack lightly

Tell me about your travel extras please. Airport tax,security charge,fuel levy and customer nuisance surcharge.

'Not only has my luggage been to more places than I have, it's stayed longer in some places.'

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

"Please, Lord, make me T.S.A. precheck."

"I hate company New Year celebrations."

"How do you pay for all your carry-ons?"

"I despise my life, but I'm in love with my life style."

Next Rest Area 38 Miles