Jet-setting Kitten Pillows

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"Would you like some wings?"

Cow Blue Arrows

"At my age kiddo, you enjoy the simple pleasures: a comfy cushion and a heat-lamp..."

"I try to drink a lot of water, stay up and get right on L.A. time, and never eat the airline food."

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

'Due to company cutbacks, you won't be getting that raise. However, to earn extra money, I can hire you to wash my corporate jet.'

'The real fun comes when we go through airport security.'

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

"There it is again, that tapping..."

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

'And one more thing, while you're in Bangkok be careful of the ladies in Patpong district. They may not be all they appear to be.'

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

Plane crash on football pitch.

"Sometimes I think the captain doesn't appreciate the seriousness of military maneuvers."

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

'I'm tired of being a jet-setter. I want to settle down, raise kids, run my own airline...'

"This guy's been acting kinda funny."

"This is your captain. Welcome to Flight 112, non-stop service from Detroit to Tampa. For your enjoyment I made us a mix tape, which will begin shortly."

'Fluffy got lost in his cat condo!'

Excess Baggage: Anyone who think business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

"There! Just like new!"

"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"

"Cynthia! Bridle your enthusiasm."

'Yes, I did watch three pay-per-view movies while you were gone. Just how long did you expect a ball of yarn to entertain me?'

"As you'd expect, the control panel of a modern passenger jet is very complex."

Left Luggage/Right Luggage

"Mum, is 'Boxing Day' the day we're allowed to play with the boxes left over from Christmas Day?!"

"Whatever you hit Captain it wasn't a bird. The only thing I can see in here is lot s of wrapping paper, broken toys and shattered antlers."

'Your luggage was accidentally sent to Singapore, sir, and you're being tried in absentia there for smuggling after-shave lotion.'

'Not only has my luggage been to more places than I have, it's stayed longer in some places.'

The tunnel of why

Travel 1st class and avoid meeting your creditors.