Jovial Anglers Gifts

'Now hook him in the lip and give it a yank'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

Pie chart of pub conversations

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"

'Well, the weatherman was wrong again. He said we would have heavy but isolated showers today.'

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

"You draw clip-art? What a coincidence - I write Muzak!"

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

'My opinion, right or wrong!'

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

"At our age I figure we only have two taste buds left. One for vodka and one for wine."

'I like to give them a sporting chance.'

Going Shopping Together.

"Do you think we'd do better if we trained?"

'Sales are really up now that the vacation months are here.'

"Wait a minute, that's my bar code" Product Identity Theft

Mooning Moon

'In the event you suffer from Montezuma's Revenge, there's a TV in every bathroom.'

Do you know what girls want?

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Enthusiastic man

Cartoon showing a man swimming, when another swimmer has dived, bounced off his stomach and smashed through the ceiling.

'Did you catch all by yourself?'

"He's been!"

'I grew up in the drug culture but now I get the same effect by standing up too fast.'

"Time to blow out the candles. Take a deep breath....Ok. Let's try something easier. Take a shallow, raspy breath."

"Age, nothing - I'd be satisfied to play my weight"

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'