Jolly Voters Pillows

'We've finally found a candidate that can really deliver.'

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Santa School.

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

Santa entering a pool for a swim

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

Santa saying to shrink - "I don't believe in myself."

'Stocks tumbled on the news Santa's credit rating was downgraded.'

'Sorry, I already have a Comet!'

"Brilliant Angela, that will get them out to vote."

'Money's no object, lad! Whatever you want, you can have, and everything's available in our fully stocked toy department on the third floor...'

'I hate it when people vote with their feet'

Christmas Spirit

Santa Claus

"Let's tell him we've been good. He probably won't call our bluff."

"Sarge, I think I've found the owner of that driverless sleigh discovered up north!"

"... Santa, eh? Do you have any form of identification?"

"I think climate change could be a factor in this election."

'I should have used the glow from your nose sooner, Rudolph, and Jennifer's toys wouldn't be at Joe's.'

"I've been asked to talk to you boys about 'rapid building entry' techniques

"Open wide and say, Fa La La Ahhh."

"I'm sorry, but you do not qualify for the home office credit."

'The problem with hibernating is that I miss out on all the Christmas fun every year...'

"It's been 300 years. I think I'm read to retire."

"Does my bum look big in this?"

Help Support Santa Off-Season

"…And your job, of course, is to enter through the chimney!"

'Honey, have you seen my suit?'

"Hi! I'm on the bus."