Jolly Voters Pillows

'We've finally found a candidate that can really deliver.'

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Santa School.

Santa entering a pool for a swim

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

Santa saying to shrink - "I don't believe in myself."

'Stocks tumbled on the news Santa's credit rating was downgraded.'

'Sorry, I already have a Comet!'

"Brilliant Angela, that will get them out to vote."

'I hate it when people vote with their feet'

'Money's no object, lad! Whatever you want, you can have, and everything's available in our fully stocked toy department on the third floor...'

Santa Claus

"I've made a Christmas list of topics not to be discussed at the table."

"... Santa, eh? Do you have any form of identification?"

"I think climate change could be a factor in this election."

"I've been asked to talk to you boys about 'rapid building entry' techniques

'I should have used the glow from your nose sooner, Rudolph, and Jennifer's toys wouldn't be at Joe's.'

Christmas Spirit

"Let's tell him we've been good. He probably won't call our bluff."

"Sarge, I think I've found the owner of that driverless sleigh discovered up north!"

Look, Mom! He dropped this! He must be just like me, always coming home with just one mitten!

"It's cuz you're fat."

"It's been 300 years. I think I'm read to retire."

"Does my bum look big in this?"

Help Support Santa Off-Season

'The problem with hibernating is that I miss out on all the Christmas fun every year...'

"Open wide and say, Fa La La Ahhh."

"…And your job, of course, is to enter through the chimney!"

"I'm sorry, but you do not qualify for the home office credit."

'Honey, have you seen my suit?'