Festive Voter Pillows

"I think climate change could be a factor in this election."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Classic Emojis for sale.

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

Safe Christmas.

The Devil's advocaat.

Our busy Sundays are Christmas, Easter and hurricane season.

Christmas card access

Rescuing the NHS for Christmas

'Where were you on the night of October 31st?'

'Uh oh! Santa brought the kids a pet cat!'

Happy Holidays. Egg Nog. Put a head on that eggnog. That would make it an "egg-noggin"!

Xmas

'Sorry - I left the naughty kid files on the train.'

Salesman in a Santa suit

Santa playing golf.

Elf

"That 'Spirit of Christmas yet to come' comes around earlier every year..."

'We've finally found a candidate that can really deliver.'

Congregation

"Kids on the right, elves on the left."

"Look! The name is Donder! Not Donner! It's Donder! Got it? Good!"

'I can't talk now. I'm in the annual meeting.'

Carolling

"I can't help but feel disappointed."

"No more for him, he has to drive."

Santa accidentally brings his mail bag instead of his gift bag.

'Repetitive strain injury of the eyes?'

"We all have our own Christmas spirit. Mine's bourbon."