Festive Communicator Pillows

"We do our best to give people the most courteous and attentive treatment possible, especially during the holiday rush."

'Thanks, Harry and I wish you and the firm a media-savvy Christmas.'

Children talk to Santa in mall via his telephone app.

'I can't talk now. I'm in the annual meeting.'

Santa Claus Christmas Texting

"You know, Billy. All of these calls to the North Pole are very expensive... And may I ask how you got hold of Santa's personal phone number?"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'Oh, Christ.'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

'And the Angel of the Lord said unto them, 'Go fill all thy shops with overpriced tat, stuff thyselves sill for four months and see if thou canst get away with calling it Christmas.'

Lost santa and reindeer.

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

'Where were you on the night of October 31st?'

Rescuing the NHS for Christmas

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

'Take that off, Fuller. You're scaring the hell out of everyone!'

Salesman in a Santa suit

"Remember now, this is for your Birthday AND for Christmas!"

"...Won't be a minute darling, I'm just downloading Christmas."

"No, I'm not here to tell you you're off my naughty list for hacking. I just need to borrow your phone charger."

"Mom said we shoulda brought the truck...."

Text Santa

'no, they're not playing our song - they're playing your song.'

Christmas Tree Decorated with Books.

"And a parsley in a pear treeeee."

Congregation

Carolling

"The knees are the first to go."