Jokester Of Examinations Gifts

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Virtual Doctor

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

'Hard or soft science?'

Cardiologist Henry Weil like to add some levity before surgery by hiding a whoopee cushion on the operating table.

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

'One hundred and forty? You don't look a day over one hundred and thirty nine!'

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Dorothy gets a visit from her funny Valentine.

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'What, not even a kiss first?'

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

Fresh Corn and Dental Floss farmstands.

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

Student writing on blackboard - I will not egg the principal's car.

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'

That's no largemouth bass, son - You caught yourself a rare blabbermouth bass. I'm nothin'! A nobody! Throw me back and I'll show you where the really big fish are!