Jokester Of Examinations Pillows

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Virtual Doctor

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

'Hard or soft science?'

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'What, not even a kiss first?'

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Fresh Corn and Dental Floss farmstands.

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

Student writing on blackboard - I will not egg the principal's car.

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'

Undergraduate and don