Jokester In The Exam Room Pillows

Any musical requests? !

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

Virtual Doctor

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

Cardiologist Henry Weil like to add some levity before surgery by hiding a whoopee cushion on the operating table.

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

Clinic. Let's see … Have there been any injuries, digestive disorders or malpractice suits today? Nope - No hits, no runs, no errors.

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

'It's a guess. I never said it was an educated guess.'

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

Student writing on blackboard - I will not egg the principal's car.

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

"This year, I'm starting school with a positive attitude! You have my word...I'm waiting till the second week of school to call it the worst year of my life."

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

'What's our exit strategy?'

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

Big man on Krampus

'You got everyfink Bruv? Stink bombs, pea shooter, dead frogs . . .'