Jokester In The Medical Field Pillows

"Med school was a blast."

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Virtual Doctor

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

'Could you stay out of the room for awhile, Nurse? -- Every time you walk in here, his testosterone levels surge.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

Hypochondria Hospital

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

'So did you want the ectomy, or just the otomy?'

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

I like a lot of witnesses around.

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

Patient charts

"Hey Frank, how was your colonoscopy?" "In and out."

Tinnitus.

'I don't need a bed pan, but an oil pan would be nice.'

Chiropodist is wearing a gas mask while treating a client.