Medical School Jokesters Pillows

'I can't read a word of this essay of yours. Excellent work.'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

Virtual Doctor

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

'It's called a bedSIDE manner, Doctor.'

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

'Who gets the penile implant, him or me?'

Patient charts

"Hey Frank, how was your colonoscopy?" "In and out."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mister Kane...You've got 'Shingles'.'

'Your X-Rays are here. . . beautiful high-resolution!'

'How's the new pacemaker.'

"I'm afraid someone drank your sample."

"It's weeder's elbow."

"While I'm not an internist...I'd say you coughed up your small intestines!"

"Open mike night"

'One of the side effects of this medication is it gives people the urge to operate heavy machinery.'

"I'm not really a doctor. I'm a placebo."

"Fortunately treatment will be relatively inexpensive since you have the generic form of the disease!"

Homework eating dogs

"I'll only remove what's necessary...your gall bladder and the man bun."

"OK, I'll go to my room, but one day I'll get back at you by going to college and putting you into deep financial debt."

'No, Mr.Carson...a booster shot is NOT a double whiskey!'

"I'm a dentist but I dabble in noses."

"The defibrillator's not for pressing panini."