Jokester About Germs Gifts

"Turns out hands are like soup. The more you wash the smaller they get."

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

Virtual Doctor

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

Human Sex Chromosomes: Female/Male/Male Who Leaves Fly Open.

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

'Could you stay out of the room for awhile, Nurse? -- Every time you walk in here, his testosterone levels surge.'

Cardiologist Henry Weil like to add some levity before surgery by hiding a whoopee cushion on the operating table.

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

You've determined the DNA genome for felines? What do you call it? "Helix the Cat".

'If you're into preparing healthy meals then I recommend the apricot brandy. It contains the antioxidant beta carotene.'

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

Pharmaco. He writes drug side effect warnings. Ah, a health scare provider.

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

'So did you want the ectomy, or just the otomy?'

Our grocery carts are genetically modified.

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

Patient charts

Printout in a genetics laboratory forming dna double helix

"Hey Frank, how was your colonoscopy?" "In and out."

'Well Sir, it tastes like O-positive to me...'

"From now on, take the human genome outside before you unravel it"

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mister Kane...You've got 'Shingles'.'

'I don't need a bed pan, but an oil pan would be nice.'

'No! Not the second pair of gloves...'