Jokester About Germs Pillows

"Turns out hands are like soup. The more you wash the smaller they get."

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

Virtual Doctor

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

'Could you stay out of the room for awhile, Nurse? -- Every time you walk in here, his testosterone levels surge.'

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

'If you're into preparing healthy meals then I recommend the apricot brandy. It contains the antioxidant beta carotene.'

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

'So did you want the ectomy, or just the otomy?'

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

Patient charts

Printout in a genetics laboratory forming dna double helix

"Hey Frank, how was your colonoscopy?" "In and out."

'Well Sir, it tastes like O-positive to me...'

"From now on, take the human genome outside before you unravel it"

'I don't need a bed pan, but an oil pan would be nice.'

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mister Kane...You've got 'Shingles'.'

'No! Not the second pair of gloves...'