Joke Juggernaut Gifts

'I'm married to my job, and now it wants a trial separation!'

"A scent to turn men into putty in your hands? Have you tried chloroform?"

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Tarzan of the Grapes.

"Bed Spread"

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Businessman wearing many hats.

Snowman of the Apes

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

The Jose Padilla Experience

"This is gibberish, Nigel, but most persuasive gibberish."

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

Medieval headlines.

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

The Working Mum

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"Influence this."

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

'Hey, Fred! You have a relative visiting.'

'Fancy a swift half?'

Communication Breakdowns

'So much for the 'Eye of the Tiger'.'

Doctor about spinning plates on patient: 'I'm concerned about his platelets.'

'You reckon we should mosey this guy?'

I called you to this synergistic ideation to strategize methods of creating new annoying words.

'Tragically, Mr. Cornwell was unable to afford a personal ethicist.'

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

'The reports were right...he's using tools!'

"I'm a writer/painter/filmmaker/poet/actor/comedian, manic-depressive goes without saying."

"I tell you, it's a dog-eat-dog world out there!"

Monkey Business

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'