Joke Juggernaut Pillows

'I'm married to my job, and now it wants a trial separation!'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

"Bed Spread"

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Snowman of the Apes

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"Influence this."

Medieval headlines.

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

The Working Mum

'Fancy a swift half?'

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

'Hey, Fred! You have a relative visiting.'

Communication Breakdowns

'So much for the 'Eye of the Tiger'.'

Doctor about spinning plates on patient: 'I'm concerned about his platelets.'

"I tell you, it's a dog-eat-dog world out there!"

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"I'm a writer/painter/filmmaker/poet/actor/comedian, manic-depressive goes without saying."

'The reports were right...he's using tools!'

'Tragically, Mr. Cornwell was unable to afford a personal ethicist.'

"That's Gilbey's hat and Gilbey's binoculars, but that's definitely not Gilbey."

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

"Pff! That orang utan's obviously a crisis actor!"