Joining An Eco Club Gifts

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"I love you too, big guy."

Politically Correct Snowperson

'What goes up, must come down!' 'Not if you give it enough thrust, to send it flying forever across the face of the universe.'

God's Subcontractors

Sale! Weed Whackers

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

"I think we have run out of time..."

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

Climate Change

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

'I was dumped by my girlfriend.'

Meanwhile, back on planet earth...Greenland's ice sheet is melting faster than previously thought, sea levels could rise..."

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

"I solve mathematical problems, program electronic music, analyze environmental issues...but being a renaissance man isn't what it used to be."

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"I can’t remember the last time he hugged me!"

Deforestation.

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

'There is nobody else. I'm afraid we've wiped out all of the other species.'

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'