Eco-club Enthusiast Gifts

Tomorrow's our first eco club meeting. Yeah, I'm nervous! There are so many big issues!

Hey, Twig! Ryan Beardsley wants your cell phone number! The divine wonder of West Fester High? Finally! My life changes for the better. He needs activities for his college apps and wants to come to our shortest eco-club cleanup. Change you can believe in. West Fester High School.

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Politically Correct Snowperson

"I love you too, big guy."

God's Subcontractors

The eco club is starting a locavore movement here at school. "Loco" what? Eating fresh food, grown locally. So? So everyone eats healthier and uses less energy. Um � Ok. I'll tell my mom. Who are those people. Locobores.

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

Sale! Weed Whackers

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

"I think we have run out of time..."

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

Climate Change

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

"I can’t remember the last time he hugged me!"

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

'I was dumped by my girlfriend.'

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

"I solve mathematical problems, program electronic music, analyze environmental issues...but being a renaissance man isn't what it used to be."

Did you let the global warming skeptics into eco club? Yeah. It went fine. We agreed to work on today's environmental problems. We don't have to wait 50 years to clean up toxic waste dumps! Amen.

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

Meanwhile, back on planet earth...Greenland's ice sheet is melting faster than previously thought, sea levels could rise..."

Look! There's a photo of our eco club's Earth Day actions in the newspaper! Sports. Power up the green machine!! I could use more copies. Me too. They're going to really power up my college applications.

Plant Parenthood...

Sorry, I only eat organic, fair-trade, shade-grown, biodynamic, raw dirt.

'There is nobody else. I'm afraid we've wiped out all of the other species.'