Joining A Fraternity Gifts

'Welcome to the frat, Todd! OK, Bob. Your turn. If you want to be a member, you've got to let him get you riiiight up to the net before you snap the line.'

A frat party at an online university

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

Bro of Frankenstein

"You took a vow of poverty, celibacy and silence. But aren't they the marriage vows."

'You know the rule, new guy carries the lotion.'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

"Check it out, bro - this pneumatic tub pipes us from the frat to Wallstreet."

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

Man sees college fraternity houses 'Kappa Phi', 'Aeta Epsalon' and then 'Beta Carotene', says, 'They major in nutrition.'

"This is a weird frat."

"That's the famous Josh—a high-impact body harboring a very low-impact mind."

"Let me guess, you joined Alpha Delta Dogma"

Canine Frat Parties

"Sure, we hobnobbed, but we never networked."

"Ogden, could you pull a string and get me one of those pictures of you naked at Yale?"

'Hey! -- This is supposed to be a spiritual retreat!'

'Here's to vague college memories that keep 3 old guys without much in common anymore sharing a drink once a year.'

'I need time off to go back to college and party. Fraternity leave.'

God's frat house.

Beerboarding 101

"Alright, you guys....what's so goddamn funny?"

'Huck me.'

"There was no hazing involved. We simply beat him up."

"Why don't you try the Omega house? I don't think you're Alpha dog material."

"He's our funksoul brother."

Brett Beer: It's the best beer to ever make me ralph. And I've ralphed a lot.

"Whoa! Turns out you're sixty-four percent douchebag, Kyle."

Pizza Initiation

"You're a bride of Jesus now? Well....I hope the guy earns enough to feed a family!"

goldfish swallowing has never become passe at Kitty Kat Frat.