Joining A Fraternity Pillows

'Welcome to the frat, Todd! OK, Bob. Your turn. If you want to be a member, you've got to let him get you riiiight up to the net before you snap the line.'

A frat party at an online university

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

Bro of Frankenstein

"You took a vow of poverty, celibacy and silence. But aren't they the marriage vows."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Goes To College

'You know the rule, new guy carries the lotion.'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

"Check it out, bro - this pneumatic tub pipes us from the frat to Wallstreet."

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

Man sees college fraternity houses 'Kappa Phi', 'Aeta Epsalon' and then 'Beta Carotene', says, 'They major in nutrition.'

"Let me guess, you joined Alpha Delta Dogma"

"That's the famous Josh—a high-impact body harboring a very low-impact mind."

"This is a weird frat."

Canine Frat Parties

I wish somebody had told me "Prince Charming" is an ironic nickname his fraternity gave him!

"Ogden, could you pull a string and get me one of those pictures of you naked at Yale?"

"Sure, we hobnobbed, but we never networked."

'Hey! -- This is supposed to be a spiritual retreat!'

'Here's to vague college memories that keep 3 old guys without much in common anymore sharing a drink once a year.'

'I need time off to go back to college and party. Fraternity leave.'

"Alright, you guys....what's so goddamn funny?"

Beerboarding 101

'Huck me.'

God's frat house.

"There was no hazing involved. We simply beat him up."

"Why don't you try the Omega house? I don't think you're Alpha dog material."

Pizza Initiation

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Old frat boys.

Brett Beer: It's the best beer to ever make me ralph. And I've ralphed a lot.

"Whoa! Turns out you're sixty-four percent douchebag, Kyle."

"He's our funksoul brother."