Fraternity Life Gifts

'Welcome to the frat, Todd! OK, Bob. Your turn. If you want to be a member, you've got to let him get you riiiight up to the net before you snap the line.'

Kappa Delta Cosa Nostra

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

'Huck me.'

Beerboarding 101

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

Good Luck!

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

"No, the Geo Metros, Hyundais, Rabbits, and Kias belong to faculty - the Alfa Romeos, BMWs, and Volvos belong to students."

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

'Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study.'