Fraternity Member Gifts

"There was no hazing involved. We simply beat him up."

Kappa Delta Cosa Nostra

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

Bro of Frankenstein

God's Law.

'Getting ready for the church chili supper is bad enough without you calling it the 'Pre-Tribulation'!'

"Forgive me Father, I'm about to sin."

A frat party at an online university

'I thought about leaving once, but I couldn't quit the habit.'

Please wait to be seated (by electric chair).

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

'You know the rule, new guy carries the lotion.'

Man sees college fraternity houses 'Kappa Phi', 'Aeta Epsalon' and then 'Beta Carotene', says, 'They major in nutrition.'

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

"Let me guess, you joined Alpha Delta Dogma"

"That's the famous Josh—a high-impact body harboring a very low-impact mind."

"This is a weird frat."

Exorcism and Other Jobs.

"Ogden, could you pull a string and get me one of those pictures of you naked at Yale?"

"Sure, we hobnobbed, but we never networked."

'I need time off to go back to college and party. Fraternity leave.'

'Here's to vague college memories that keep 3 old guys without much in common anymore sharing a drink once a year.'

"Bro, no!"

God's frat house.

Beerboarding 101

"ButI thought he was just praying without ceasing."

"Alright, you guys....what's so goddamn funny?"

'Huck me.'

"Why don't you try the Omega house? I don't think you're Alpha dog material."

'We're in a same non-sex relationship.'

Brett Beer: It's the best beer to ever make me ralph. And I've ralphed a lot.