Job Title Collector Gifts

'WOW! They appointed me an 'O.F.W.A.W.M.S. Manager'... wait a minute... what the... that means 'Old Fart Without Any Worth Mentioning Sales'??!!"

'Why,yes-I DO have a name plate on my desk...

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'And this is the computer that sends out our final demands.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'You shouldn't have.'

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

The Boss.

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

"About your tax refund—would you like to donate it to help pay off the national debt?"

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"Congratulations J.L., I hear you're getting another 'really' in your title."

"I wonder what this was for."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

Delinquent Accounts - Day Late, Dollar Short.

"Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing!"

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

"It's the government, they've spent all our taxes and want to know if we can send them some more."

"Brrr - it was so cold today I had my hands in my own pockets instead of someone elses!"