Job Search Joker Gifts

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

How are you at decision making?

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

Do you have any other skills?

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

In and Out Sourced.

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"I don't like your application."

Between Offices

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'