Job-related Activities Gifts

'Yes, we could use someone with your talents!'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Belief and Trust.

Sales.

Working 9 to 5.

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

'In celebration of Thanksgiving, this week's pie charts are all pumpkin flavored!'

It's to stop you getting side-tracked.

Corporate Darwinism

'I know that you think you should be the President of this company, Your Majesty. But, you'll just have to work your way up, like I did!'

Man running from desk: 'I can't seem to get away from my work lately.'

"I see you've come a long way, Perkins."

"Your first thirty days is a probationary period. Following that, we'll review your performance and consider giving you a cubicle with a door!"

'The salary isn't much, but the expense account to entertain the boss, ohh-la-la!'

"What time is it mentally?"

'In this company, you're either 'Employee-of-the-Month' or you're fired.'

'He has a weak character. Notice how easily he lets his work distract him?'

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

'Your performance has been a steady boat in a sea of change.'

On his first day as a paramedic Henry suffered Pre-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

Workaholic

'Todd, you do realize 'casual Friday' is now 'super Friday,' right?'

When Policy Fails, Try Thinking.

"The company is in deep water? Why do you think so?"

'Fantastic chance to show what you can do...resources are of course stretched...we'd be very grateful.'

'It hasn't gone unnoticed by management how much extra time you've been spending in the office...so here's a bill to repay the electricity you've used.'

'Hard day at the office, dear?'

'I'm prepared to offer you a raise... if you work hard!' 'I knew there'd be a catch!'