Job Experiences Gifts

'The salary isn't much, but the expense account to entertain the boss, ohh-la-la!'

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

Getting through the week.

'I don't like the looks of this ... '

"We can't actually pay you, but your work will get a lot of exposure."

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"I'm not worried about you, Henley. You'll land on your feet."

Doctor to man: 'You're a workaholic - you tested positive for elbow grease.'

"I don't need your resume. Your current employer forwarded me a ton of security video that you're featured in."

The job is yours - I called your references and they all said you're a good boy.

'Is that the extent of your work experience, court ordered community service?'

"Well, I've taught you everything I know."

"Do you know the biggest thing I've learned in my thirty nine years?"

I avoided the layoff, but they transferred me to the high-wire act. At least it's steady work.

Women

'Come in please, I have something I'd like to bounce off you!'

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

'Your resume is quite impressive. However, I'm a little concerned about you biting your last four bosses.'

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'

Personnel. You've learned from your mistakes? Wow! I feel awed in the presence of so much education!

'Your career is a change management textbook.'

On his first day as a paramedic Henry suffered Pre-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

'Hello dear - I've had a very depressing day.'

"Are you willing to relocate?"

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

'I'm going to write a salary figure on this piece of paper. You tell me if it is acceptable or too high.'

"Yes Dad! I can see the ground way way down below very clearly! It's not unrelated to my reluctance to try flying!"

'He's here to apply for the bouncer job.'

'You know, I don't even care how the wine tastes - this alone was worth the price.'

'We're looking for someone who will take anything just to get out of the house.'