Workplace Experiences Gifts

Barry Grolnick: a Good Man in a Bad Cubicle.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'What's wrong now?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

National Boss Monument.

'Yes, can I help you?'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

Torn-Off Mouse.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

Concerned that she would be passed over for a promotion if management knew she was pregnant, Donna concealed the fact.

InIn by-products.

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

"Sorry, I'm preaching again. Why don't we pause for a moment while I pass around the collection plate."

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'