Job-related Activities Pillows

'Yes, we could use someone with your talents!'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

Belief and Trust.

Sales.

Working 9 to 5.

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

'In celebration of Thanksgiving, this week's pie charts are all pumpkin flavored!'

It's to stop you getting side-tracked.

Corporate Darwinism

'I know that you think you should be the President of this company, Your Majesty. But, you'll just have to work your way up, like I did!'

Man running from desk: 'I can't seem to get away from my work lately.'

"Your first thirty days is a probationary period. Following that, we'll review your performance and consider giving you a cubicle with a door!"

"I see you've come a long way, Perkins."

"What time is it mentally?"

'The salary isn't much, but the expense account to entertain the boss, ohh-la-la!'

I like you Roger:- you've got sticktoitiveness.

'I'm afraid he's a bit tied up right now'

Time for sports camp, Teddy. Let's go! Unghhh � I thought you hated all the sports craziness. Summer camps avoid the worst problems. I forget. Parent's aren't allowed. Heaven on earth.

'In this company, you're either 'Employee-of-the-Month' or you're fired.'

'He has a weak character. Notice how easily he lets his work distract him?'

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

Workaholic

'Your performance has been a steady boat in a sea of change.'

'Todd, you do realize 'casual Friday' is now 'super Friday,' right?'

Boss, what would you say if I told you that if you don't give me a raise, I'll go work somewhere else? I'd say "Wouldn't it be a shame if your letter of recommendation mentioned how you're an awful employee?" And I'd say "Isn't it a shame the town council has made sure this is the only cafe within fifty miles?" But the way, have you delivered my latest care packages to the council members? Very bad man.

On his first day as a paramedic Henry suffered Pre-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

When Policy Fails, Try Thinking.

"The company is in deep water? Why do you think so?"

'Fantastic chance to show what you can do...resources are of course stretched...we'd be very grateful.'

Fetching, rolling over, playing dead, sitting up

'Hard day at the office, dear?'

'I'm prepared to offer you a raise... if you work hard!' 'I knew there'd be a catch!'