Job Market Surfers Gifts

'The good news is I've got a part-time job. The bad news is I started the day with a full-time job.'

The Three Wise Queens

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

'Your resume seems in order, Mr. Lupo, but would you explain exactly why you want to work here> Mr. Lupo...?

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

Ace headhunters.

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

"These are excellent qualifications... so good that our largest competitor would gladly pay you twice as much."

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

'We want you to take the hindmost.'

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

"According to your resume, you've done nothing of any real significance since inventing the wheel."

'Are all of these letters of recommendation from your mother?'

'Are you free at the moment?'

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

For sale

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

Career advice from the boss

"I wouldn't have any trouble staying awake. I just came out of hibernation."

"Will this job involve multiple choice, true and false, or essay questions?"

"I didn't get a job at the job fair, but I got a blue ribbon for best resume."

"References? Well, I just got six references from the guys in your waiting room."

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'