Job Market Awareness Gifts

'Do we have to get a job before we can collect unemployment compensation?'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

The Three Wise Queens

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

Between Offices

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"I'm looking for a position in a less competitive market."

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

Dolestart - A New Initiative

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

'You will have no hope of recognition or advancement. That's why you'll be underpaid.'

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

For sale

'I see an applicant being hired!'

"It has come to my attention that you may have been somewhat less than forthcoming in your résumé."

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'Miss Peterson will be with you as soon as she goes through a few other resumes.'