Job Interview Tactician Gifts

Employed Perfume: For that 'Just Hired' smell.

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

Good luck with all the revision...

Examinations.

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

"Your interest in the salary makes me wonder how 'self-motivated' you really are."

PERSONNEL, 'Any awards or honors OTHER than being the valedictorian of your remedial class?'

"I think you left something of your resumé... writer of fiction!"

"Term paper?! How do we do that? We haven't done a term paper all year!"

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

'I've got the answers to the test written on my hands and arms. It's old school artificial intelligence.'

"I try to get a head start on them."

"Able to take flak - I like that!"

Personnel. What do I call those gaps in my work history? Quality time.

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

I would like to start a regualr investment program that will help pay my daughter's college textbooks

'Your resume is very creative. It's all a crock."

"Your resume says you specialize in field work."

"Higher learning gets higher each year."

Arsene Wenger

'I require an enormous salary or I begin to doubt myself.'

"Next!"

"No you can' 'google' number seven!"

I've got to make an offering to the cheapskate muse. What's that got to do with me? You understand women. What could I do to bring back my goddess of inspiration? That's nice. What's nice? Goddess of inspiration. You mind if I use that line on this hottie I met when I was trolling for broads at the bus station? This is not helping! No, it is. Don't sell yourself short. HOJ.

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

'Try aiming for the wall - maybe then you'll hit the target!'

'We will need a standard resume in addition to this beautiful needlepoint recommendation from your mother.'

"I've been asked to talk to you boys about 'rapid building entry' techniques

"By God, you're not a man who's afraid to fail."