Job Hazard Storyteller Gifts

'Doris has THE BEST horror stories. She's a pedicurist.'

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

The Environmentalist

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Dragon Recycling the Knights it has defeated

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

Two 'superheros' show the discrepancy in toilet paper production.

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'And along with your promotion you get a key to the executive bedroom.'

"You're overprotective. Stop telling her not to go out on a limb."

Polar Bear Paparazzi.

'It just got ugly. Ed from I.T. drank the entire water cooler and he wasn't even thirsty!'

If you left the window open and the light on when I was little, the room would fill with insects...

"Did you hear the good news? We're engaged to become work spouses."

'What did you do with the apple I gave you yesterday?'

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

"We all agree something should be done and someone else should do it."

"This is juicy - tell me more!"

"Social distancing... masks, it's difficult sometimes to know who you're talking to."

"Yes, I can remember when it was nothing but forest land as far as you could see."

"This one is really unusual. We have to remove a horseshoe from a guy's naval."

"Well Virginia, thanks to climate change there isn't a Santa Claus anymore."

'Come on, dad...why would anyone follow a witch into a gingerbread house? It clearly wasn't built to code.'

"I was married to my job for years, and now, all of a sudden, I'm paying ALIMONY to it!"

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

"It's powered by clean hydroelectricity from Norwegian fjords and built from 100% recycled shopping bags. We call it the Smugmobile!"

One of Santa's elves is crushed to death by a present in the workshop, ruining the 364 days of 'Elf and Safety'.

"He's being retrained."

"Old, you've seemed a bit down recently. Do you need anything?"

"We're becoming a new dynamic company, Miss Peeble, and frankly you just haven't got the wow factor."

Icarus flies into a wind turbine

Polar bears attacked by lions.

Actors and foley artist in radio studio.