Job Hazards Aficionado Gifts

'Hey guys, meet our new safety director.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

Wear a helmet

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

Speeding Forklift

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

"Fifty quid for a high visibility jacket? Why, that's day-glo robbery."

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

"I see you do all your own stunts."

Health and Safety Guidelines.

"...And now step 2 disconnect power before plugging in..."

"The good news is that your husband will never again ignore the company's safety instructions..."

'I wear safety glasses at work and I still don't feel safe.'

'I'm glad you two have finally met.'

The waitstaff at Luigi's like to have fun when they administered the Heimlich maneuver.

"This one is really unusual. We have to remove a horseshoe from a guy's naval."

'I wish McWit would lead a life of quiet desperation.'

'Sorry boss, I've decided to live dangerously and become a shelf filler.'

'I need the welder to fix the guard on that pump.'

'Doris has THE BEST horror stories. She's a pedicurist.'

"Make up one for the office that says 'Hard Head Area'."

'This ladder is rotten!'

'I'd think twice before picking c-4.'

'What training do I get?'

'One question before I take the job...is this a safe workplace?'

'Go ahead and dig, you said! what are the odds there's a pipe right there, you said!'

One of Santa's elves is crushed to death by a present in the workshop, ruining the 364 days of 'Elf and Safety'.

'So next time we help a customer take from a pyramid stack, which can should we choose ?'

"I wouldn't have smacked you on the butt if I'd known your light saber was in your back pocket."

'Mind your head'

"Dudley, we have to stop meeting like this - It's against safety procedures!"

Caution: Wet Floor

"That explains why Larry is the most confident employee in our company!"