Job Hazard Enthusiasts Gifts

"This one is really unusual. We have to remove a horseshoe from a guy's naval."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Resume Dumpers

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'What went particularly well?'

"I see by your resume, you don't stay in one place long."

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

"I'm really impressed with your work ethic."

Very well, Mr Potter. I blinked first. You're hired.

'I'd think twice before picking c-4.'

Employment Office. I see by your resume that you don't stay in one place very long.

'What training do I get?'

"I like my job. It keeps me alive."

"Make up one for the office that says 'Hard Head Area'."

"We appreciate your eagerness, but stop gnawing the furniture."

'Doris has THE BEST horror stories. She's a pedicurist.'

'What have you been saying to him? He wants to be a careers master.'

"...I think you might be great for our management position."

Bob was apprehensive about his new job, but excited about the new directions it coudl take him in...

'I don't want to go up after Yang's dad.'

"And why exactly did you quit your job as a chainsaw salesman, Mr. Shloompf?"

Curse of the mutant gene.

"You say you love your job. Are you nuts?"

"Are you sure this is the only place we can smoke?"

The last minutes of Abu Prishniad, amateur snake charmer.

Caution: Wet Floor

"I want to be a spam master when I grow up. You'll find a sample of my work on your computer."

New Pope.

'Hey guys, meet our new safety director.'

'It might be better all round Privett if you took a month off.'

Now hiring. Anthill, Inc. You should know we're all expected to pull 20 times our own weight around here.

"Another week, another dollar. It seems like life is nothing but work, work, work! But there's nothing wrong with that! I like being busy. And boy, I'm always busy!"

The American Dream: Pause to Honor the American Work Ethic.